How are you spending Christmas Day?
Welcome to Killadelphia, population: me. Well, and my parents. It's just us chickens so our holidays tend to be pretty low key. Christmas is a two day celebration beginning on the Eve where we
- Eat a stupid amount of whatever food we've been able to order in (this year I-talian)
- Each person gets to open one "shit gift" (ie, whatever we've gotten for one another which is mostly not fun: cell phone holder, electric toothbrush, etc)
- The Monopoly marathon begins
We never really played games when I was growing up (see the: there were only three of us) but I've started insisting on it as I've gotten older. Thus, we play Monopoly until our fingers bleed and we're jeering at one another and out of huckleberry cordials and someone has a stomach ache (it's probably me!). Even though there has been serious DRAMA that has been causing me some STRESSTRESSSTRESS, I am trying to not let my bitterness get the best of me. Candy helps this a lot.
Christmas Day, again, now that I've gotten older and don't have a present-centric toothache, is also low key. Many years it involves me actually showering and putting on makeup to look presentable in photos (not this year, suckas!). There will then be waffles, then there will be presents. I'm pretty thankful we're not in a family that has any ridiculous traditions. I was reading a Fark thread where some dude was upset his girlfriend's family wouldn't let him in on the Christmas Day tradition of lining up in height order, marching around the house singing Jingle Bells, and then opening presents in age order. No Gay Elf March here, folks. GEM Free in 2003.
The gifting. This year was good as always. I guarantee that we are the only three people on the planet that actually know how to give gifts--ie, even the shit gifts do not suck. There was not one thing given that anyone was really disappointed in (although I did receive some clothes that were of...questionable style. This is what happens when you refuse to shop at anywhere but Target and your mother feels the need to intervene. We'll be returning these bad boys tomorrow). There was, however, a slight kerfluffle when, while I was both delighted and surprised to receive a Kitchenaid Artisan Mixer with all the attachments I would need to make sausage (I saw the 'Good Eats' about making your own sausage and I've been pretty much talking about making my own sausage like it's my job) which was FANTASTIC, however, my dad opted to get me white. WHITE. These damn things are expensive and they come in 8,000 other awesome colors that I would've preferred (he forgets that HE prefers white everything, not me) and so was naturally a little disapointed. It was eventually agreed that the white one would be exchanged for the Cranberry (or alternatively Persimmons) so that every time I used the damn thing I wouldn't be obligated to go, "And they got in for me in white. White! Why would someone ever buy me something WHITE?" So now y'all don't have to hear that. Be thankful. Be thankful I am an only child and get what I want. Nyah. Nyah.
To be fair, I am actually the number four most favourite child. The order is this: Paul (Paul is the favourite because he is awesome, even though I AM BLOOD), Phoebe, Belle, me. For the record, Phoebe and Belle are the dogs. For Christmas, they received little meatloaves that were microwaved and giftwrapped. Actually wrapped. I am not joking. There was no elaborate wrapping, but they wanted them to have the 'opening presents' experience. So. I am definetely last on the list. I probably would've also like a gift wrapped meatloaf if I were offered one.
Then, dinner at the same place we eat out for every single holiday evar, and more Monopoly. DOMINATION!
Plus, I was reviewing last year's Christmas photos and I am thankful for having dyed my hair back to blackbrownwhateverthehellitis. I also received texts from one million people and thank you all for your nice wishes. Remember: the reason for the season in pleasin'. I hope y'all got your pleasin' on this year. I'm off to go watch the Office and make myself sick on more candy.
What was your major or field of study in college? [boring stuff omitted]
Submitted by sneuf.
Economics and Islamic Studies.
Basically, I have degrees in baloney.
I spent most of last night wrapping Christmas presents. At this point, I've spent over $14 on four stupid rolls of wrapping paper and some bows. I paid $14 for pre-trash. Ung. Anyway! I love wrapping, I admire a nicely wrapped gift (you take the first bite with your eyes!), and I'm very careful about doing it. The Gift Foyer Table I Got From the Trash is gradually expanding.
99% of the things on that table were ordered from Amazon save the giant box (we discussed this item previously, NO SPOILERS please!); Amazon just has so much bullshit I cut out the middle man and ordered all my gifts this year from there. My items were coming in 7 individual shipments and I've received 5. I'm starting to get nervous because I want to make sure that I'll have enough time to get everything ready and pack before I've got to go down to my parents house (and account for all the "laying around" and "I will do it later" time in between) as well make sure I have everything in time for a gift exchange next week. I go on the Internets Dot Com to find out where the rest of the boxes are since estimated delivery was supposed to be yesterday.
The lady on the phone was very nice, but because it looks like this today, the stuff won't be coming until the weekend.
Fuck you iTunes, you time burglar. I can't believe I used that shit for YEARS. Never again will I need to manually select and add a file or a directory (or have to search and find something I downloaded and forgot about), add my own album art, do a manual search, or lose track of where I am in an album to try to browse around and find something else.
My Zune player gives me such happypants.
In the land of romance, ladies might do well to shut their traps, while men can continue to blab.
That's the message of new research revealing that both men and women judge harshly couples in which the guy is a timid talker and the gal dominates conversations and shows assertiveness.
The scientists suggest gender stereotypes are to blame for study participants' negative views of couples breaking the mold.
"We reasoned because men are expected to be in a position of power over women, couples in which the woman is verbally dominating the man would be rated more harshly than couples that adhere to the traditional role," said lead author Jennifer Sellers, assistant professor of psychology at Green Mountain College in Vermont.
Past research has found such mismatched couples (those that violate gender-role stereotypes) tend to be less satisfied. In the current study, published in the October issue of the journal Sex Roles, the researchers investigated whether gender-role expectations play a role in the dissatisfaction.
Full thing here.
I have no commentary, I just wanted to post something titled with my number one phrase of the week.
- 10:07 Miserable bot 2.0 #
- 12:42 If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough? #
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(till the weekend, that is)
paul: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8
paul: did I show you this already?
paul: the ACTUAL, getting ACTUAL AIRTIME republican ad featuring chuck norris facts?
me: I SAW THIS
me: on the vox
paul: ok
paul: well still. on actual TV!
paul: I heart mike huckabee even more for this
me: i love how poor his comedic timing is
me: but it's still hilarious
paul: he's the funniest of all the republicrats.
paul: and probably the most likable.
paul: nobody thought he'd win anywhere, though, but I think this ad is actually really helping him
me: i mean i'm still not voting for mitt romney
me: but if i would i would
me: and that's not just because [FRIEND] is getting me a date with his son
me: but that helps
paul: I don't know who [FRIEND] is
me: my friend [FRIEND]
me: [FRIEND's screenname]
paul: and I don't think you should be dating anyone related to romney
paul: what with them being MORMONs and you know how that goes
me: i said i'd only do it if i could be number one wife
me: i've seen big love
me: i only want in if i can be number one
paul: dude, you would be so much better at number 2 wife.
me: what!
paul: someone else would make your schedule, and you wouldn't have to have a job, and you could pawn all the housework onto number 3
paul: so you could spend your days scheming and watching TV and buying things from the interwebs
me: ...you've clearly thought about this
me: but still
me: I want to boss around the other wives
me: and be seen in public
paul: number one wife would have to be mature. number 2 wife is obviously more suited for people with tempers so you could yell at people which is almost as good as bossing them around.
paul: and as far as being in public...you'd get over that in a hot minute. how many times have you been in public this year?
paul: BOOM
me: you have some valid points
me: but i still don't know that i could swing being second in the wife department
me: it's an ego thing
me: having kidneys
me: it's what sets men apart from the animals
paul: I am now the undisputed champion of wife order arrangement.
paul: it's not an ego thing!
paul: you think ego would make you want to be number one
paul: but
paul: since being number one means he go tired of you and had to seek elsewhere
paul: being number one means you'd be the first one he got tired of.
me: I just texted [FRIEND] after looking at this http://fivebrothers.mittromney.com/
paul: SO, by being number 2, you get to be the younger hotter piece with less responsibility and more sex appeal
me: I asked which he had the in with
me: because Tagg was not easy on the eyes
me: and he said "Tagg is the brains, Josh is the face. I am actually a Romney love child"
me: mitt romney is such a good looking man but all of his genes seem to be lost in translation
me: either that or his wife is poo genetic stock
paul: romney is actually relegated to an unmounted portion of my brain. I cannot picture him, and would not be able to identify his voice, and I'm trying to keep it like that
paul: so I have no data other than I'm supremely sure he will not win.
me: oh dude, mitt romney is a piece of ass
me: he is like a ken doll
me: hold on
paul: dude
me: http://migop.blogs.com/blog/images/romney.jpg
paul: you're not listening...mitt romney needs to be talked about less, not more.
me: mitt romney needs to make out with me more, not less
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