1 post tagged “christmas day”

How are you spending Christmas Day?

Welcome to Killadelphia, population: me.  Well, and my parents.  It's just us chickens so our holidays tend to be pretty low key.  Christmas is a two day celebration beginning on the Eve where we

• Eat a stupid amount of whatever food we've been able to order in (this year I-talian)
• Each person gets to open one "shit gift" (ie, whatever we've gotten for one another which is mostly not fun: cell phone holder, electric toothbrush, etc)
• The Monopoly marathon begins

We never really played games when I was growing up (see the: there were only three of us) but I've started insisting on it as I've gotten older.  Thus, we play Monopoly until our fingers bleed and we're jeering at one another and out of huckleberry cordials and someone has a stomach ache (it's probably me!).  Even though there has been serious DRAMA that has been causing me some STRESSTRESSSTRESS, I am trying to not let my bitterness get the best of me.  Candy helps this a lot.

Christmas Day, again, now that I've gotten older and don't have a present-centric toothache, is also low key.  Many years it involves me actually showering and putting on makeup to look presentable in photos (not this year, suckas!).  There will then be waffles, then there will be presents.  I'm pretty thankful we're not in a family that has any ridiculous traditions.  I was reading a Fark thread where some dude was upset his girlfriend's family wouldn't let him in on the Christmas Day tradition of lining up in height order, marching around the house singing Jingle Bells, and then opening presents in age order.  No Gay Elf March here, folks.  GEM Free in 2003.

The gifting.  This year was good as always.  I guarantee that we are the only three people on the planet that actually know how to give gifts--ie, even the shit gifts do not suck.  There was not one thing given that anyone was really disappointed in (although I did receive some clothes that were of...questionable style.  This is what happens when you refuse to shop at anywhere but Target and your mother feels the need to intervene.  We'll be returning these bad boys tomorrow).  There was, however, a slight kerfluffle when, while I was both delighted and surprised to receive a Kitchenaid Artisan Mixer with all the attachments I would need to make sausage (I saw the 'Good Eats' about making your own sausage and I've been pretty much talking about making my own sausage like it's my job) which was FANTASTIC, however, my dad opted to get me white.  WHITE.  These damn things are expensive and they come in 8,000 other awesome colors that I would've preferred (he forgets that HE prefers white everything, not me) and so was naturally a little disapointed.  It was eventually agreed that the white one would be exchanged for the Cranberry (or alternatively Persimmons) so that every time I used the damn thing I wouldn't be obligated to go, "And they got in for me in white.  White!  Why would someone ever buy me something WHITE?"  So now y'all don't have to hear that.  Be thankful.  Be thankful I am an only child and get what I want.  Nyah.  Nyah.

To be fair, I am actually the number four most favourite child.  The order is this:  Paul (Paul is the favourite because he is awesome, even though I AM BLOOD), Phoebe, Belle, me.  For the record, Phoebe and Belle are the dogs.  For Christmas, they received little meatloaves that were microwaved and giftwrapped.  Actually wrapped.  I am not joking.  There was no elaborate wrapping, but they wanted them to have the 'opening presents' experience.  So.  I am definetely last on the list.  I probably would've also like a gift wrapped meatloaf if I were offered one.

Then, dinner at the same place we eat out for every single holiday evar, and more Monopoly.  DOMINATION! 

Plus, I was reviewing last year's Christmas photos and I am thankful for having dyed my hair back to blackbrownwhateverthehellitis.  I also received texts from one million people and thank you all for your nice wishes.  Remember:  the reason for the season in pleasin'.  I hope y'all got your pleasin' on this year.  I'm off to go watch the Office and make myself sick on more candy.