4 posts tagged “lists!”

(stolen from Dave)

• The skin on the top of my mouth back that I burned off with these salt and vinegar chips (it was worth it)
• My paycheck this week to be extra generous with bonus pay I wasn't expecting so I can go to the big Chinese grocery store downtown and buy the face of some animal accidentally because it was poorly translated
• Internet.com at my home or place of residence
• A manicure
• A coffee table
• Some forward momentum
• An excuse to run up my credit card at the Victoria's Secret semi-annual "sale"
• A haircut (wedge adjustment)
• Brokers to stop giving me sass
• Residents to stop giving me sass
• Clients to stop giving me sass
• Co-workers to stop giving me sass
• Friends to stop giving me sass
• Alternatively, all aforementioned groups may dish it out if they can take it

Or, Reasons My Life Is Absurd.

Step 1:  Open up a new box and subsequently steal a packet of your roommate's instant blueberry oatmeal.

Step 2:  Feel a little guilty about opening up the box, but disregard this because of the anticipation of the delicious, delicious artifically flavoured blueberry goodness to come.

Step 3:  Get to work and realize you have no bowls for microwaving or measuring cups for the water.  Parcel out the packet of dry stuff into two small cups from the water cooler.

Step 4:  Add water to each cup cautiously until oatmeal is covered but not totally saturated.

Step 5:  Microwave.  When you remove them, one will be too dry, the other will be too watery and look like gruel.  Mix them together for ying and yang effect.

Step 6:  Realize you are out of spoons.  Proceed to shovel into face with plastic knife.

Ta da!

I'm having a little bit of a meltdown.  Too much is happening all at once.  While I realize it is my own fault for scheduling it this way, still, um, fuck.  Here's what I have to get done by the end of tomorrow:

• 15 slide presentation about the geography of the UAE (do I have a paper to turn in with this as well?  I have no idea.  This class is ridiculous.  There is no written copy of her guidelines for anything and her broken and stilted English, while something I can forgive, is made incredibly incoherent by her ever changing directions)
• A 2 page paper/quiz about the ancient civilization of Dubai (those two things are due in class today, I haven't started either.  Well, I started the presentation but 'AutoSave' seems to be a relative term)
• A 5 page paper for Middle East Civilization for tomorrow morning, another case of something important I haven't been able to start yet.  It has to be based on reading I probably haven't done.
  
• A Game Theory problem set, again, for tomorrow
• Tengo que estudiar para un examen de espanol, tambien, manana.
  

So basically it looks like I'm not going to be going home until sometime tomorrow afternoon.  Thank goodness nobody will notice if I sleep in these clothes. 

Things to do (I CAN'T STOP MAKING LISTS) that I crossed off last night:

• Head downtown to CUA for the FIRST TIME even though good friend has been at school there just as long as I've been out here in the suburbs, a round trip trip time of all of about one hour
• Drag random Facebook friend to party(get together) I was invited to via Facebook and thus feel my life has come full circle
• Get lost on bizarro campus
• Get a little jealous of bizarro campus that appears to suck slightly less than ours, which is not necessarily saying all that much really
• Finally meet John Scanlon after we hooked up in 1977 (it was out of sight!) and thoroughly approved of his John Kneeland hair and Transformers shirt
• Through drinking games, learn many fun/useless facts about who strangers have "hooked up" with (a term that still makes me weirdly uncomfortable, I'm not sure why)
• Asked Emily to walk me out for fear of bears on the Catholic campus
• Made fun of hobos on the train

Things to do today:

• Oversleep for roughly 45 minutes
• Have coworkers make fun of my phone voice
• Make fun of coworker for going to an Aerosmith concert last night ("I'm sorry, I lost my watch. Is it 1987 already?")
• Try to rock as many faces as possible, preferably while jamming along to soft rock
• Buy train ticket home because for once I am way too tired for that drive
• Announce subsequently that I will be home for a few day(s), who would like their face rocked? (preferably if they have a soundtrack of soft rock for me as I've now been conditioned)

Happy Sunday, monkeys!